My Subconscious Mind.

 

On a shameless night and a nameless place, my thoughts wandered like a hopeless case.

Someone was watching over me. I took a selfie. It was blur. Legs wrapped, I stared into the white wall in front of me. 

Next day, 6:04 am. I open the fridge and pour myself a glass of water. I can hear the faint warbles.  A voice calls me to be careful with the amount as some water spills out. I rub my eyes repeatedly. There’s no one in the kitchen.

Lunchtime. My mother has left me some chapatis in the oven. A sticky note said she’s gone to a relative’s. I take my food and sit on the chair, watching the door move a little. I check the time.

Still exhausted after a slumbering afternoon catnap, I sat on the table, trying to read some physics. Nah, simply boring. About to give up, I hear the same voice again. This time it tells me I’m stupid. I should’ve paid attention when they were teaching this. I agree and abuse myself. The following night I stay awake, watching videos related to the topic. Three hours of sleep and bam! goes my alarm. Curses. Brush. I get ready. More curses. I feel someone behind me, patting my back for getting out of bed. It’s a nice feeling. I run for the class.

The voice is everywhere. Telling me when to cross the road, how to speak with fellow colleagues. Where I can find my pen, why I should be home, how I can easily share anything with my mom.

I wonder who tucks my blankets in when I’m about to doze off abrubtly. And who cleans my bathroom floor after its wet. And how the fan is always set on the right intensity.

I feel its presence inside the temples, during movies, in the auto, at the college.

Sometimes I see things which don’t actually happen. And it is this voice doing all the talking. Why do I notice what I’m supposed to? How doesn’t it slip past? There is someone showing me worlds completely inconspicuous and of unfathomable beauty. And only I can see them.

It isn’t always this boring though, sometimes it tells me I’m funny too. And the other times, it reminds me of how I should be kind on the inside despite all those pimples. It really tells me what actually matters.

It is certainly not a shadow, then what could it be? What loves me when I’m least cooperative? Who strengthens me when I fall? I always feel it pointing out to the events I should consider and decisions I should take. When I’m being an ass, it tells me so. Probably it is wiser than me. But I’m glad I have it. I’m not alone.

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