Aunty Ji !


I am at this family function right now and honestly, I don’t know even know what the function is. A birthday probably? Or anniversary? Well whose?

Thank the heavens, my cousin is right with me so I might be able to pull this off. Oh no, there goes all the retro music…

“Heyyyyyyyyyyy,” said… a… lady… I should know her.

I smiled.

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,” she screamed again. Does she really have to do this? Who has sent her here?

“Hello there, how are you?” I ask the mysterious woman because why not.

“Ooh dear, I’m fine, I’m so good, I’m doing really well.. Such a good person you are to ask of my health I am blessed to have met you. Oh wait I’ll tell my cousin’s husband’s nephew to give a thought about marrying you oh but well enough about me, how have you been in this huge messed-up city of chaos? Are your studies going good? Does the fridge at your house work well? I hope the curtains aren’t stained. Talking about curtains, let me advise you… The carpets are to be washed with utmost care, use only colour safe bleach if needed, dry flat in shade, iron, stream, medium heat. Do you need help with the…”

I’m not sure if I’m hearing the rest…
My cousin makes sure I don’t fall asleep by pinching me as I yawn.

Skipping the part of how we got rid of her, I admit I still haven’t recalled who she was.

Doesn’t even matter. My stomach is rumbling. I am totally famished. Isn’t food the reason I came here for?

Cousin shows me the starters going around probably why she had actually pinched me. Spring rolls and cheese munchings…yummmmm.

A couple of teenagers approach us while we make a pig of ourselves. No wait, they’re kids. A fat stout dark-complexioned boy and an oil-haired half smiling lame girl.

After a formal blather, we reckon we have to spend the rest of the time tolerating them. I swear the girl just wants to know where we got our earrings from. I wonder what’s next.

They have brought a huge three layered chocolate cake. Okay cakey, I got ya! Listening to people sing and clap, I finally realize it’s my maternal aunt’s birthday. Since when did 42 year olds celebrate it?

“Life begins at 40! Congratulations! Hahahahahahahahahahaha,” jeered an uncle with a look that said he’s gonna eat all the cake and the food and the decoration and the hall and the people in it.


I walk over to the food stalls.

*more drama*

I’m taking my dish and filling it with as many scrumptious delights as I can.


*some more drama*

The two kids are torturing my cousin. Just as I think it’s getting over, I’m having my dinner, everything’s alright,… But is it? The kids’ parents come over to us to take them away. Well, ofcourse I’m glad. Bye bye stupid -_-

“Beta, you’re doing IIT right? Its an excellent field and there’s a lot of success. My daughter should learn from you. So much money in this course, wow, wow, wow… Yeh IIT hota kya hai waise?”

*cries* Take the ladies away and I’ll be at peace, lord.

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